How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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