PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
