she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
