If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
