Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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