let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
zippers are such a cool invention
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
