So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
