if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
