I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
