my mouth tastes like poor choices
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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