he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
