Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
