You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
