so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
