"it" just moved
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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