who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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