I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
porn star boner night. come get it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
