We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
