Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
