if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
