So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i out mim tonsoeep
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