I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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