just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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