You work out of a Hotel?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
