I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
