omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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