What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
