If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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