i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
