Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
