Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
