you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
