i jhust puked up my retainher.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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