why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
