jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
