im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
