It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
