I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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