I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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