then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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