We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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