I'm gonna have a badass scar
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
