You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Randomize
