Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
