and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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