Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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