those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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