I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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