Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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