I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
