Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
